In Memory
Trevor Richard Dicks

 Little I knew that morning, God was going to call your name.  
In Life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone
For part of me went with you, the day God called you home.

You left us beautiful memories, your love is still our guide
And though we can not see you, you are always by my side
Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same
But as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

UPDATE

We just found out that Trevor had a beautiful daughter he never
knew existed.  She was adopted out and finally her birth mother
told her of our last name.  It's too late for Trevor to know her, 
but I feel he is looking down and knows .  

Amber is a lot like Trev and is a beautiful young woman.  Trev would be so proud of her and love her like he did his other children...  and we're getting to know her as well.  I loved her when I met her and she reminded me of Trev as she told me about herself and
her search for her father.

Amber and Shirley          Marie, Amber and Shirley

Trevor's Story

Choices

Photos

About Trevor

Service

 Poems

Reflections on Trevor

Jeff Dicks Coalition

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me, and I am not there to see
If the sun should rise and find your eyes, all filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you would not cry, the way you did today.
While thinking of the many things, we did not get to say.

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you.
And each time that you think of me  I know you will miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me    Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,   And took me by the hand.

And said my place was ready, In heaven far above,
And that I would have to leave behind, All those I dearly loved.
But when I walked though heavens gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne.

He said " This is eternity,  and all I promised you."
Today for life on earth is past, but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, for today will always last,
And since each days the same way, there is no longing for the past.

So when tomorrow starts without me, do not think were far apart.
For every time you think of me, I am right there in your heart.

David M. Ramano

Trevor found himself involved in drugs, alcohol and full of anger and hatred at the system that put innocent people on death row.

And yet, he bared his soul to tell his story to the teens, telling about his road to destruction, and back again.    

Mothers shouldn't have to bury their children, and yet they do it every day.  As you said when Jeff was killed, your story will be told, and I'm saying it now.  

Both of your stories will be told and your name will live on.

I don't know if we somehow feel that we won't be here, or that something is going to happen to us, but I know that Trevor usually sent me money for Mothers Day, and he's never sent Maria anything for that day.

But something made him do it this year, a month after Mothers Day.  He'd sent a photo of him and me and on the back he wrote,

"I love you mom. You are always in my heart. The older I get the more of you I see in me.  Thanks mom for teaching me how to love when all I knew was hate.  You never once let me down.  Not once.  I would not have all I have today, including my dreams if it wasn't for you.  You are truly the greatest and I love you...Trevor

A Mothers Torment by Marie Mathews, as told to by Shirley Dicks

  To read an excerpt and order, click  HERE

Trevor's Brother Jeff, and mother Shirley
www.jeffdicks.org 

Card from Jeff

Mom, Just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas and hope that the New Year brings you only happiness and joy. I also want to say how proud I am of you.  A lot of us see injustice in this world and wish there was something we could do to change them. But few of us actually do something and you are one of the few that has the courage, heart and spirit to take on unpopular social issues and make a stand.  I love you for that mom, and respect your courage and I along with a lot of other people are so proud of you for sticking with it and fighting the powers that be, to have the other side heard and winning.

I’ve always known you were a strong person but never realized how determined you could be, until you started taking on the issues you have the past years.  Social injustice in this world has always put hatred in my heart, and so the issues you write about really have touched my heart. And the passion of your words are like that of a sixties radical.  Words just can’t express the pride I feel when talking to others about you. I thank you mom for all you have meant to me in life.  Your love has given me strength.  Your determination has given me faith.  Over the years you have been my mother, my friend and my guiding light.  You will always be in my heart and spirit.

No matter what the future may hold, always know that you have given me a lifetime of joy. I pray for your happiness mom, and that the New Year brings you all you could dream for.  You are always in my thoughts and prayers.  Have a beautiful Christmas mom. I love you with all my heart and soul. May you always know peace of mind.  Love you, Jeff

July 28th 2006                       Unexplained Happenings

My daughter Maria was washing my dog in the bathtub and I was in there with her.  My great grandson, Jeffrey who was five was in the living room with his two year old sister, Madison.  I'd been working on the computer and had it opened to a dog site.  After washing my dog, Maria let her outside and went on home with Madison.  Jeffrey stayed with me.

I sat down at the computer ready to finish and noticed that another site of mine had all the pages there, including three pages that were not listed or linked anywhere else.  I asked Jeffrey if he'd messed with the computer and then realized that there was no way he had of knowing how to put in the url to the web site and get it up.  Also he'd have no way of knowing how to get ten other pages up there, including the three pages that were for my own use and not the public use and which no one knew about.

I called Maria to ask her if for some chance she'd sat down at the computer, although I knew she hadn't, and she wouldn't have known about the other three pages either.  She said no and about thirty minutes later, I heard my water running.  I looked out the back door and saw my hose was running out on the lawn.  Again I called her to see if by chance she'd turned the water on before leaving, although why anyone would turn the water on when the hose was just laying on the ground in the backyard I don't know.  She again said she hadn't done that.

There is no explanation for this.  Trevor was always on the computer at home.  We'd do websites together, email each other and that's the only thing I can think of, that he was trying to contact me in some way.

Just like  what happened a month after he was killed, there is no explanation to it.                  

When Jeff was killed six years ago, Maria lived next door to me.  I was at her house shortly after that, and her phone rang.  She has caller ID and she looked at it and it was my number.  Since I live alone with my dog, we didn't know what to make of it.  No one was there when I answered.  It rang again, and again my number came up on it.  I kept saying hello, but no one was there.  Maria said if it rang again, she'd run over and see.  We were standing out on the porch and could see my house a few yards away.  The phone rang a third time and Maria ran next door with my dog behind her.  She went through the house and no one was there.  My dog wouldn't go inside with her no matter what she said.

Strange.  I believe we are in a sleep after we die until Judgment day, however there is no explanation for that.  I felt devastated when I lost Jeff and had wanted to end it all, so I don't know if it was a sign from God, from Jeff or who.  Now that I've lost both my sons, it's even worse.  However, I know both of them would want me to go on until I get to meet them on the other side. 

I don't know why these things are happening.  At times I smell cologne as well and with asthma I don't wear any. At times my computer will go on line by itself and I'll pick the phone up to find it busy.  I'll hear things fall in another room and no one is there.  I've always been a strong person, and yet with the loss of three sons, it's devastated me. I have nightmares every night, I can't sleep, and I have to wonder why I'm still here when it should have been me to have gone and not either one of them.

What's the answer?